Hello, my name is Doris and I'd like to make a complaint.

This came into the comments section of my last blog entry, 'A Valentine Love Poem'. It's from the fat lady with a tanning disorder who lives her ex. I decided that it shouldn't be left in the comments section. It needs a space of its own.   Amazing...a woman who still uses the term 'man of my dreams'. Cheer up tan lady. One day that ex that you still live with will look past the outside and notice all those great qualities on the inside. You won't be washing his jocks for nothing then.  I'm quite proud of a few things you've said about me.  Thank you.  Whoops, hang on. For a really smooth read, I think it should be: ' Than  deranged, fucked up and out of my mind.'  Bugger, it was your punchline too :-( #shesalittleobsessedwithme #SheCandoPoetryTooYouKnow Ladies and gentlemen! I give you..the ex's ex girlfriend. This is what I was up against when I tried to date a man who still lives with his ex (they're just friends thou...

Happy Valentine's Day Roses are red Violets are blue What's good for you Is good for me too You live with your ex And that's all good and fine I plan to see Carlos For coffee and wine We won't watch sexy movies We'll just sit and chat Old friends who care deeply About each other, that's that We won't sleep in the same house He won't hear us root He won't see me braless Or all oily after ummm...fruit I'll introduce him to you We'll all be great mates I'll tell you of women He fucks on his dates 'Cause I'm 45 years old And I do as I please You shouldn't be jealous He's just an old squeeze

I haven't been out with any men for quite some time now as life has been just too darn busy, and to tell the truth, the men I've been seeing recently are just too darn horrible.  I would, as a form of personal psychoanalysis, like to go over the finer details of the 2 dates I shared with David - a rather cooky-looking, well-educated, fifty-something year old who liked to ride his pushbike.  Just about everything I was looking for. At a glance, first date: Grey hair in a well groomed style, glasses, tweed jacket, t-shirt, jeans, Doc Martens and bike helmet on the chair for Christ's sake.  Perfect! David chose the venue for date # 1, and according to the law of averages when internet dating, that venue happened to be in his home suburb. The venue itself was lovely, and we shared an afternoon drink looking out over the Brisbane River, doing the standard get-to-know-you's.  David was rather nervous at first and conversation was a little choppy to begin with.  ...

I was on a plane the other day and I was sandwiched between 2 men who both sat with their legs wide apart and their arms on both their arm rests, while  I sat between them with my elbows close to my waist and my legs tightly together.  I managed to wrestle the armrest from the man on my left and I noted how he was suddenly no longer able to pay attention to the document he was reading.  The minute my arm came off the armrest, he reclaimed it and went on reading. It's time we give them a bit of their own medicine

I am a single woman who occasionally chooses to meet with married men who actively seek an affair on a married dating website.  My question is: w hy would I pay for the hotel room?     I've dated the single, modern "50:50 man" for 4 years now.  So it certainly comes as no shock that the 50:50 man has oozed over to the married websites. The single websites make me laugh with men's catchphrases spouting things like "No gold diggers please" or "I'll shout the first coffee if you send the first email". Or the most ironic one I've seen yet: "I believe strongly that men and women are equals". Scroll down to that same 44 year-old male's age specifications for his female mate, and I can see that he would like a woman aged 25-35. He has no interest in equality. And just like the single men with their belief that equality and feminism mean that women should pay for half of everything, I've not met a married man yet that hasn...

I've decided to give single men a wide berth for the time being.  To occupy myself I plan to tend to my much-neglected garden (and occasionally catch up with Phil, the married Russian). Some Phil photos for your enjoyment:

In every relationship, couples eventually present each other with their baggage.   The exchange of the duffle bag. As individuals, we exchange our duffle bags at various speed.  Some of us hand our bags over early, some of us need coaxing.  Some duffle bags are large, some are small.  Some are huge. Some duffle bags need an upright hand trolley.  I'm very sorry to say that the lovely-accented, quite handsome 40 year-old Frenchman had a duffle bag that I was physically ill-equipped to carry. He presented it way too early and I broke under the weight of it. The Frenchman's history was a little difficult to work out.  Not because he was mysterious, but because I was never interested enough to keep asking questions.  Medium length marriage to a woman who had one daughter of her own, he had helped to raise during the adolescent years.  That daughter was now 19. Apparently he had ended his marriage 2 years ago because his wife's demands for perfe...