Hello, my name is Doris and I'd like to make a complaint.

"Maybe I couldn’t make it. Maybe I don’t have a pretty smile, good teeth, nice tits, long legs, a cheeky arse, a sexy voice. Maybe I don’t know how to handle men and increase my market value, so that the rewards due to the feminine will accrue to me. Then again, maybe I’m sick of the masquerade. I’m sick of pretending eternal youth. I’m sick of belying my own intelligence, my own will, my own sex. I’m sick of peering at the world through false eyelashes, so everything I see is mixed with a shadow of bought hairs; I’m sick of weighting my head with a dead mane, unable to move my neck freely, terrified of rain, of wind, of dancing too vigorously in case I sweat into my lacquered curls. I’m sick of the Powder Room. I’m sick of pretending that some fatuous male’s self-important pronouncements are the objects of my undivided attention, I’m sick of going to films and plays when someone else wants to, and sick of having no opinions of my own about either. I’m sick of being a transvest...

Women dislike men because they are: inconsiderate  rude  egotistical thoughtless shallow aggressive  boring unsympathetic  lazy self-absorbed controlling cruel unhygienic simple dependent sexist  poorly groomed  badly dressed  embarrassing infantile Men dislike women because:  we occasionally  point  this  out  to  them 

Attention gentlemen!  I'm house-trained and fully domesticated! I'm looking for an attractive, young-at-heart, sexy, fun-loving, determined, unique, curious, creative, adventurous, intelligent, compassionate, authentic, sensual, masculine, playful, loyal, trustworthy, honest, confident, cheeky, strong, successful, financially secure man to share good times and great laughs. I'm looking for a man who is handsome AND has brains. Someone who can look "beyond next week". Extra points if you speak another language (preferably European). Surely that's not too much to ask! A little about me.  I'm tactile and affectionate. I'm baggage-free. I like to kiss and cuddle...and hold hands in public and I hope you do too. At night I like to wind down from my extremely important job with a glass of wine, some home-made rotolo al forno, and then curl up on the couch with a good DVD. I'm social but I'm a home-body. I'm loud but I'm shy. I like the occ...

NewtoBrissy was, as his dating name suggests, new to Brisbane.  Originally from Canada, he'd moved from his children and ex-partner some years ago to live in another country.  He was now fresh from Adelaide, and looking for some company. This 48 year old man was after someone intelligent.  He wasn't looking for "someone to complete me or an Aristophanian soulmate." Deep stuff. NewtoBrissy was completing his PhD and searching for his not-really-forever-and-ever-soulmate on the internet. I contacted him. I must admit that I was turned off by the fact that he lived a hemisphere away from his children, but I'm also realistic. I understand that beggars can't always be choosers, and a bit of give and take is required when screening through the endless undesirables.  If he agreed to meet, it would be interesting to hear him explain that his ex-partner was insane, and he had to move to get away from her. Like all men and their "crazy" ex-partners, ...

Have you ever read a heap of men's dating profiles, and been a little turned off, felt a little uneasy, by the way men refer to their daughters? I have. There is always some nice little gender-specific adjective before the word "daughter(s)" that gives those daughters the qualities men are fanging for in their women. "My gorgeous / my beautiful / my lovely daughters…" You know, safe words to use when referring to your own offspring.  Careful guys, you wouldn't want to use any unsafe words like "smoking" "hot" or "sexy".  Play it cool and no-one will suspect a thing. You never see men describing their sons in dating profiles using adjectives. They might mention "I like spending time with my boys" or "My boys are with me every second weekend". They never refer to their son's looks or personality, and even if they did, they wouldn't use the same words that men save exclusively for women…or other...

Wolli Creek Lady She's the Wolli Creek Lady All cultured and moral She knows what she wants and it's 100% oral. She's bold and she's sassy and a little overweight 'Not married or attached' thanks if you're keen to be her date. Twenty-eight to forty-eight She wants you younger please Travel...dinner...movies then a night between her knees. Only men from Sydney thanks Her life's a bit complex She likes to travel interstate for 100% oral sex. Does she reciprocate the favour and reward men with a blow? Is her anatomy the problem? I'm not sure we'll ever know. Perhaps a problem with her vag? Blue Waffle springs to mind Vaginismus, dryness, anxiety, PID or a fetish of some kind? A profile most peculiar I don't know of any men who'd want to spend their evening  giving pleasure to this hen. 100% oral? Yes yes, men want that too but requesting it i...

My teenage daughter filled me in on an incident she dealt with on public transport this week.  A man in his mid 20's waits for her to remove her bag from the seat beside her so he can sit there. He stands and waits patiently. Plenty of free seats all around him, but he waits for the one beside her. He sits down and spreads his legs WIDE OPEN. Way over her half of the seat. Like most men do. A good 75cm between his knees. So my daughter placed her bag between her legs and adjusted herself, spreading her legs wide open as well.  At this point she says their thighs were pushed up hard against each other. Neither gave in. She says he was distracted at first, and then gradually became agitated. After a few minutes, he adjusted his position. Moving his bag around, he managed to straighten both of his legs out in a wide V...and then he extended his left leg... over the top of her right leg...so his left calf was resting on her right shin and his left foot was resting between her l...