Cassy's new boyfriend
I was chatting to a friend the other day about her sister and her sister's new boyfriend. Cassy, (my friend's sister) is in her early 50s, very conservative and twice divorced. Cassy's been uncertain about her future for months as she's navigated life as a single woman in the aftermath of her second marriage. I met Cassy once but didn't really like her. I thought her values were all fucked up, and I thought it a little weird that her soft-top red sports car was the antithesis of her boring personality. I got the feeling I annoyed her too. I found it cringe-worthy that Cassy had managed to stay good friends with both of her much older ex-spouses, making pacts with each that that they would look after each other as they got old. Each ex-husband still came over to visit unannounced whenever they pleased. "We're just great friends." "We're not all bitter like you Doris" # she explained when I questioned her about her right to privacy and her chances of being lumped with the care of both ex-husbands when they got old.
Anyway, good news, Cassy has found herself a new boyfriend (PHEW!) and if she plays things right, maybe even a new husband. Sigh. Some women just find it so easy to find forever love. What am I doing wrong?
Cassy met Mark at church. Lovely wholesome place to meet. No-one wants to sink to internet dating where the real desperados hang out. Mark is a white christian, non-drinking, 50-something year old, mental health nurse, recently divorced and now living with a male flatmate in share accommodation*. Cassy explains to my friend that Mark 'analyses' her all the time...on account of his deep knowledge of Freud, and all that other psychiatry stuff he must know about because he's a mental health nurse. Mark likes to keep Cassy on her toes. He's taken to questioning her on her alcohol consumption, claiming he can smell it on her breath when he kisses her hello on the few nights he's slept over. Cassy says she's not really lying if she says she hasn't been drinking when Mark tells her he smells wine on her breath, because she's actually been drinking vodka. Cassy's has been trying to give up alcohol so she doesn't offend Mark. He re-questions her the next day and reminds her what he thinks of people who lie to their partners.
So they've been dating for 12 weeks now. Casey has never been to Mark's house or met his flatmate because, as Mark has explained, he and his flatmate have agreed not to have sex with women in their home (the word WOMEN is the important bit there). Pretty reasonable. Two lonely old men living together in share accommodation. There's a definite need for some sensible house rules. The shagging might get out of control. Mark likes control.
Mark sleeps at Cassy's house sometimes, but they don't have sex. Actually, that's not true. They've had sex twice in the 3 months since they've met. Mark feels a tad uncomfortable having sex in Cassy's house because he thinks Cassy's 21 year old son who still lives at home might hear them - kills his libido and he's unable to maintain an erection. Hung like a mule though according to Cassy. His foreskin has thrown her a bit and she can't stop questioning my friend about whether it's normal to have one. Good news though, they'll both have time to work it all out because Mark is in it for the long haul. He's told Cassy that he wants to be with her until they die. He says the only thing that will drive them apart is if Cassy is unfaithful to him.
Mark has requested that Cassy use a photo of the two of them together as her Facebook profile photo.
#Cassy also asks each of her ex-husbands for money when things get financially tough for her.
*The freakiest of adult daters have someone at home, other than their own children, who need to be dodged or explained to a prospective mate - ie they still live with their parents, a flatmate, their spouse or ex-spouse.
Anyway, good news, Cassy has found herself a new boyfriend (PHEW!) and if she plays things right, maybe even a new husband. Sigh. Some women just find it so easy to find forever love. What am I doing wrong?
Cassy met Mark at church. Lovely wholesome place to meet. No-one wants to sink to internet dating where the real desperados hang out. Mark is a white christian, non-drinking, 50-something year old, mental health nurse, recently divorced and now living with a male flatmate in share accommodation*. Cassy explains to my friend that Mark 'analyses' her all the time...on account of his deep knowledge of Freud, and all that other psychiatry stuff he must know about because he's a mental health nurse. Mark likes to keep Cassy on her toes. He's taken to questioning her on her alcohol consumption, claiming he can smell it on her breath when he kisses her hello on the few nights he's slept over. Cassy says she's not really lying if she says she hasn't been drinking when Mark tells her he smells wine on her breath, because she's actually been drinking vodka. Cassy's has been trying to give up alcohol so she doesn't offend Mark. He re-questions her the next day and reminds her what he thinks of people who lie to their partners.
So they've been dating for 12 weeks now. Casey has never been to Mark's house or met his flatmate because, as Mark has explained, he and his flatmate have agreed not to have sex with women in their home (the word WOMEN is the important bit there). Pretty reasonable. Two lonely old men living together in share accommodation. There's a definite need for some sensible house rules. The shagging might get out of control. Mark likes control.
Mark sleeps at Cassy's house sometimes, but they don't have sex. Actually, that's not true. They've had sex twice in the 3 months since they've met. Mark feels a tad uncomfortable having sex in Cassy's house because he thinks Cassy's 21 year old son who still lives at home might hear them - kills his libido and he's unable to maintain an erection. Hung like a mule though according to Cassy. His foreskin has thrown her a bit and she can't stop questioning my friend about whether it's normal to have one. Good news though, they'll both have time to work it all out because Mark is in it for the long haul. He's told Cassy that he wants to be with her until they die. He says the only thing that will drive them apart is if Cassy is unfaithful to him.
Mark has requested that Cassy use a photo of the two of them together as her Facebook profile photo.
#Cassy also asks each of her ex-husbands for money when things get financially tough for her.
*The freakiest of adult daters have someone at home, other than their own children, who need to be dodged or explained to a prospective mate - ie they still live with their parents, a flatmate, their spouse or ex-spouse.
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